Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone š
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
āOn a breakā is implied when itās a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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