its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
