Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
