she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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