take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
