I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
