the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
