Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
