She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
