they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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