i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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