he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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