I feel like abortions should bother me more
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
