She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
