Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
