Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
