Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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