I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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