No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
