Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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