And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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