remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
