Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
