birth control should be required to get into college
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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