I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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