im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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