he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
