oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
