I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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