just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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