dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
