I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
