This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
