your thong is hanging out like whoa
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
