Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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