I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
So many bounce houses so little time
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
