You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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