i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
