Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
