i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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