My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
