Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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