Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
