Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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