well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
