And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Life is so much better after having sex.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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