garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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