He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
