he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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