I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i came on her dog
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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