after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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