hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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