omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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