the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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